On one hand, I'm missing the lack of restrictions I had on my diet prior to the cleanse. But, on the other hand, I'm starting to worry about once I go off the cleanse. I like these restrictions, I like having guidelines and sticking to them. But I've been worrying about once the cleanse is over: will I put the weight back on? Will I totally gorge myself and eat too much? I already have dinner plans Sun-Tues of this week...and I can't stop worrying about going back to eating restaurant food. Is this totally irrational? I've created this healthier way of eating for the past twelve days, and I worry it will easily get tossed out the window. My husband doesn't have the best eating habits, and although he has tried really hard to be supportive and change them, I know he loves going out for fried food or ordering takeout. I know it's up to me to stay disciplined, and I think I've gained a lot of it and knowledge since beginning this cleanse. I'm just scared. I gained about twelve pounds after the wedding and our honeymoon, and I have only now, after a year, lost eleven pounds; I guess this is the first time I really tried to improve my diet versus just exercising. I feel like myself again, less self-conscious since I'm able to fit into my clothes; but there's now this slight panic that I could just as easily gain it back after this cleanse. Ugh. Well, I'll just have to try to stay as healthy as possible. Everything in moderation! (I'm so not a fan of that phrase)
This morning I went to my weekly cycling class - we had a sub and he is amazing, and he actually created a workout based on Stage 18 of the Tour de France! It was awesome. Two climbs: the first was twenty-one minutes, the second was eleven minutes. I had to bail at the 45min mark because I totally forgot my shirt at home, despite carrying my lunch and gym bag with everything...I ran home to shower and then headed to work; the perks of working and working out within walking distance of my home! I had my first shake as I was leaving the gym, and then had my second shake a lot later than normal. For lunch I had my usual salad, with lacinato kale, arugula, shredded carrots, cubed avocado, half a chicken breast, great northern beans, one beet chopped, topped with that leftover homemade balsamic vinaigrette. Some of my coworkers went to SweetGreen for lunch today...I can't wait to return to my beloved! I'll definitely be skipping the goat cheese when I go, though.
See you tomorrow for day thirteen!