I have to admit, I've been feeling a lack of inspiration for this Wellness Wednesday. I think it's a combination of several things, and part of it is likely from coming off of the cleanse; completing in and actually doing it made me feel like I had more purpose, as cheesy as it sounds. I really felt like I was doing something and also loved that I was being so healthy. Since being off of the cleanse, I had a few days where I didn't feel so well - today was really the first day I felt somewhat normal, digestively speaking. I think I'm also missing the routine. Is this totally weird? I'm also due for that special time in a woman's month, and after having skipped it a few times I bet it's definitely screwing with my emotions a bit.
More often than I'd like over the past few days I've had to force myself to let go of this negative feeling and try to just be present. It's tough, I've had to stop and tell myself "life is too short to let this feeling take over." Where is it coming from?! The reality is it doesn't matter where it's coming from, it's how I process it. As I type this, I'm looking out the window of our closet/office, watching a few seagulls fly by. There was this brief moment where the gray clouds were lightly sponge-painted bright pink from the sunset. At this moment, my mind doesn't feel as heavy. I feel lighter, I feel present. But then, the headache creeps back and I just feel out of it. This post feels a little too personal, but maybe that's a good thing. It's not always happy sunshine rainbows, even when you practice yoga at least four hours a week (on top of cycling and a barre class).
That's actually something I had wanted to write about for this post, my experience in a recent yoga class. I was in triangle pose, and the instructor came over and adjusted me slightly; he pulled me up so that my bottom hand rested lightly on my shin, whereas before I had it on the ground. He turned my upper body so my heart opened even more up towards the ceiling. He said, "lower isn't always better." I felt the stretch; I felt the pose in a different way that I hadn't noticed before. It also served as a reminder: I don't need to focus on going the deepest into the pose, I need to redirect my attention to proper alignment and the stretch itself. I get so caught up sometimes in being the most flexible I can be (I'm oddly super competitive with myself), and that can make me lose sight of trying to get the proper alignment. An analogy to life is due at this point, right? Maybe it's more about staying in tune with our bodies internally, versus focusing on what we look like externally. My body is not going to benefit from me looking like a flexible badass in class, it's going to benefit from me being mindful and aware throughout every asana practice. It's funny, this was the same instructor that taught me to not open my hip out so much in tree post, and I've never forgotten that; in fact, every time I do tree pose I think of him! (PS: this is the same teacher I wrote about in my last post.)
Try focusing internally versus externally. As Bravo says, watch what happens.